Wow, this is kind of a joke, but with the length of the halftime show, you can almost do anything.  The entire Superbowl Halftime Spectacu-whatever is about 40 minutes and about 20 of that will be Katy Perry lip-synching teen-pop while Lenny Kravitz may or may not play some guitar live (sounds amazing doesn't it?).

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Okay so the NFL will probably give us a few minutes of recap and a bunch of cool commercials, then it's the "music" portion of the event.  Guys, Katy Perry is not going flop out her boobs. It's just NOT going to happen.  I'm sorry to be sexist, but that's about she has to offer me as an "artist".  She's a fair singer and doesn't seem to "get" choreography, so I'd rather find some other way to spend those twenty minutes.

So, what can you do in twenty minutes?

1.  20 minutes is the perfect amount of time to check in on the PuppyBowl.

2.  Change all the batteries in your smoke alarms. Superbowl Sunday is a great reminder to do this.

3.  Make some tasty 20 Minute Spanish rice for no damn reason at all.

4.  You should EASILY be able to walk a half mile in twenty minutes. So why not get off your fat ass and do it?

5.  Have naked fun time with your girlfriend/boyfriend. For some of you, you'll even have time for a shower afterwards.

6.  Cook yourself the perfect steak.

7.  Wash a load of clothes and throw them in the dryer

8.  Build a barbeque out of cinderblocks.

9.  Clean out your Facebook "friends" (especially those assh@les who are for the other team).

10. Drive around the Loop. The Loop is 26 miles long. If you start when Katy Perry starts warbling, you should still be back by the second half kickoff.

11. Listen to side one of Black Sabbath's "Paranoid". In less than 20 minutes you'll get "War Pigs", "Paranoid", "Planet Caravan" and "Iron Man".

12. Visit the Louvre museum in Paris.

13.  You can still put together a Football squares game for the second half.

14.  Clean them damn dirty pix off your phone. Seriously, what are you saving them for?

15.  Watch the original trailer for "The Waterboy" ten times (it's still that funny).

16.  Check the dates on everything in your fridge. Seriously, have you EVER taken a few minutes to do this?

18. Eat an entire pack of Starbursts. That's about 20 minutes of solid chewing there.

19.  Go out and "clean your garage" or at least go move some stuff around and say you did.

20. Watch this tutorial on "How To Throw A Tomahawk" and get 15 minutes of practice.

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