I'm a lucky dude. I get paid to do what I love and wouldn't change a thing about my life. I consider myself a well-rounded entertainer who focuses on comedy, pop culture, technology and sports…but the listeners know better and only listen because they were forced to. Because of my irreverent presence on air, a local church even formed a prayer group specifically for saving my soul. In all serious, I'm the dude you hear on the radio and see all over Facebook. I'm married with 2 kids and more pets than the city law allows. I have lots of tattoos, I love riding my motorcycle. I also have an extreme fondness for ranch dressing and Monster Energy Drinks - but not together. My wife makes my lunch every day. I love NASCAR, the New York Yankees, Chicago Blackhawks, Houston Texans, Houston Astros and Houston Rockets. My back hurts.
The Ultimate Road Trip Playlist
With road trip season just around the corner, it's super important that you program your playlist with the best tunes to get you from point a to point b.
The Painman’s Favorite Songs for ‘National Teachers Day’
National Teachers Day isn't an official holiday, but it should be. Heck, it should be every day. National Teachers Day is typically recognized on the Tuesday of the first full week of May. While most will only apply this day to traditional teachers, I think anyone in any field of education shou…
2018 Daylight Saving Time Begins Sunday March 11th at 2 a.m.
Time to "spring forward" an hour this weekend.
Hooters Opening in Abilene is a Good Thing – Stop Freaking Out
It seems people are losing their dadgum minds over Hooters opening up on I-20. Stop it. This is actually a good thing for our economy.
The Painman Tries a Nasal Flush for the First Time [NSFW]
Since my allergies have been terrible, I finally broke down and bought one of those scary nasal rinse kits. I'll be honest, it worked pretty dang well.
The Feds Are Taking Your Free Porn – The Great Porncalypse
The FCC voted to repeal Net Neutrality and your access to free porn might take the biggest hit.
Cats and Christmas Trees Are a Funny Combination
Anyone that owns a cat knows they are typically enamored by shiny objects. Christmas trees are typically full of shiny objects. So, when you combine the two, you'll eventually have a destroyed Christmas tree.
Funny and Inappropriate ‘Elf on the Shelf Pictures’ From Instagram [NSFW]
Elf on the Shelf has taken on a new life on Instagram. People are taking pictures of the elf in various funny and inappropriate places, positions and scenarios.
2017 TV Schedule for Holiday Programming
From the Christmas classics of 'Peanuts', 'A Christmas Story' and 'It's a Wonderful Life' to the newer flicks like 'The Santa Clause', 'Elf' and more; there's plenty to keep you entertained this holiday season.
Christmas Songs That Rock
Here are some Christmas songs that rock to help get you in the spirit of the holidays.
The Painman’s Heavy Metal Hall of Fame
Instead of complaining about the 'other' hall of fame, I decided to create my own celebrating the best metal bands ever.
Rules of the Circle Game
The "Circle Game" is legendary among adolescent folklore and seems to have been given new life on social media. So let's discuss the rules of this awesome game that has no end.