If you’ve ever wondered what a football might see as it speeds into the outstretched arms of Detroit Lions receiver Calvin Johnson, wonder no more. Also, you need better things to think about in your spare time.
In case you haven’t noticed, there’s nowhere on an iPhone to plug in an arcade-style fighting stick. That means we’re stuck with touch controls that try to replicate arcade setups, which is about as easy as playing handball while wearing oven mitts.
Rumor has it drastic changes are afoot for the Dead Space series, which replicates the thrills and chills of the Alien movies so well that it practically feels as though Ridley Scott cribbed from the notebook of Dead Space hero Isaac Clarke. But there are so many metallic corridors you can slink through before things start to get a little old, which is why we’re pleased to hear the setting for the third game is supposedly set on an icy planet.
Sony may be stubbornly refusing to lower the price of its slow-selling Vita handheld, but at least retailers are stepping up to toss in some awesome stuff in for free in order to make the system a sexier buy. Maybe not Kate Upton sexy, but certainly at least Mileena sexy.
Like a dude using a laptop with his pants around his ankles, Kratos has always been known for doing his own thing. The rage-fueled Spartan has gotten his rocks off by slashing enemies into oblivion. Everyone onscreen, even innocent bystanders, were nothing but fleshy balloons to be popped into red level-up orbs. But his next game, God of War Ascension, will change all that.
There has been a metric poop ton of 3DS games and apps worth downloading, but the more you snatched up, the harder it became to access your stuff. The system’s aggravating interface lined up your games into a never-ending row of boxes, making it take forever to get to whatever you’re looking for. But, if you download the latest system update, you can finally reshape the menu.
Boy, did Nintendo have a lot on its mind. The fallen gaming giant, which lost more than half a billion dollars in the last fiscal year, is plotting out its comeback. The normally tight-lipped company has a surprising amount to say about its current plight and plans to escape.
The fact that a game is great on a DS doesn’t mean its iOS port will be as impressive, or even playable. Some people yearn for Nintendo-sanctioned Mario Kart or Metroid to come to mobile, but that prospect sickens us. Some games just require buttons. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, though, is on the opposite end of the spectrum. It plays as though it was built from the ground up for iStuff.
Ah, Japan. A land where sexual self-exploration and gaming go hand in… pants. The Senran Kagura franchise, in which you control big-boobed female ninjas who lose more clothing the more damage they take, embraces its dirtiness.
Sometimes really cool games come along that hardly anyone wants to pay for — An example is Rayman Origins, a divine platormer that got critics all hot and bothered but couldn’t find much in the way of sales.
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