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Careful: Dumb Sumbitchs On The Road

Uh, the first snow.  It’s beautiful in it’s purity and cleansing just by it’s presence.  It does what it can to cleanse us of the stupid with the dozens upon dozens of accidents. Since you are not one of these “dumb sumbitchs’, click through  for more prose and ideas to keep you safe.


It’s not that people in Lubbock don’t know how to drive in the snow, it’s that people in Lubbock don’t know how to drive and the snow just magnifies it.  One little over correction in the snow and your car can go to upside-down land (and it’s not a fun country to visit). Here’s a couple of tips that might help even you (we know you’re an expert driver) survive.

Driving in snow is like driving a boat.  It takes longer to get going, it takes longer to stop and you HAVE to take longer to turn.  Simple. This takes us to Wes’s “Rule Of The Road #1″:  That dumb sumbitch in front of you is liable to do ANYTHING.  And by ANYTHING, I mean turn across five lanes of traffic, stop because he saw a yard sale sign, get of the car and wiggle his willie in the wind, I repeat ANYTHING.  There is no limit to the stupidity of other drivers: NONE.   This also goes for drivers that are beside you and behind you, but the worst is those in front of you.  The way to avoid letting this other person kill you is easy….give ’em space.  That’s all it takes, just get some room between you and the other cars; the further apart you and other cars are, the less likely you’re going to hear a big KAMBOOM noise.

Now Wes’s “Rule Of The Road #2. Being “right” ain’t worth being “dead”.  Just because you have “right of way”, doesn’t mean that the other driver(s) are smart enough to recognize this fact (once again see Rule #1).  Even if you have a green light at a snowy intersection you should slow just a bit, because the “dumb sumbitchs” could slide into the intersection.

and finally this brings us to Wes’s ‘Rule of the Road’ #3. In inclement weather, “Old Trusty” WILL act funky. Yeah, you have a feel for your wheels, there almost an extension of your body, but in bad weather break pads get wet, weird things freeze up, and chunks of stuff get hung up in weird places.  You have to remember that your vehicle is a little handicapped when the weather is bad.

Good luck, safe driving and I hope you don’t have to deal with any of those “dumb sumbitchs” on the road (but you will).


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