Another d.j. once told me a story of a stripper friend who always wanted to fire a roman candle out of her rear. He was nice enough to help this ladies dream come true (it was like "Make A Wish" for strippers). I was think of this story and Googled some fireworks "fails" and it was no time at all before I had video of why things like this are BAD.

Let me tell you one thing though folks, if you put something that shoots fire and could potentially explode in your no-go place, things can go very wrong. First off, let's look at the experiment from a practical point of view. The minute you start feeling that heat on your butt cheeks, YOU CLENCH. When YOU CLENCH, you end up holding the firework in place. Now, I would tell you to "relax" but it's STILL ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS AND STUPID THINGS YOU COULD EVER DO. Maybe it's just best that you watch this video. Believe it or not, this video isn't that explicit, it has some side and top views of rear ends, but it doesn't really show full on "balloon knots" or anything.

And here's a bonus fail: