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Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters” Might Just Be Too Far [VIDEO]

The trend of taking old-school fairy tales and turning them into modern horror/thrillers might have jumped the shark now. Look for a list of freaky scary fairy tales after the trailer, you might be surprised. Or you might have an idea for another movie…whatever.

We all know that Hansel & Gretel escaped being eaten by a witch. One of the scarier fairy tales around, and trust me a lot of them are truly frightening if you pay attention (see below). But do we really need to turn them from innocent near-cannibal victims into all growed up vigilantes of forest justice? I mean witch hunters?

And yeah the movie knows its fairly campy, but still, they have guns. Guns? Watch the trailer here.

On another note, have you ever noticed how truly scary kids bedtime stories and fairy tales can be? Here’s an example of some of the scarier ones.

Hansel & Gretel: 2 kids almost cooked and eaten by a witch.

Rock-A-Bye Baby: When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby cradle and all. (A baby falling out of a tree? Sweet dreams.)

Little Red Riding Hood: Girl almost eaten by a wolf who already ate her grandmother. ( In the original the wolf does eat Red Riding Hood.)

Snow White: Unwary forest girl is hunted to be killed by an evil witch because she’s pretty. Like our girls don’t have enough of an image problem, tell them that the pretty ones should be killed too. Plus there’s a mine full of jewel hungry dwarves? Just weird.

Sleeping Beauty: Again pretty princess girl waits to be killed by evil witch. I see a theme against pretty girls here. (Also in the original tale ” it isn’t the kiss of a prince which wakes her up: the king seeing her asleep, and rather fancying having a bit, rapes her. After nine months she gives birth to two children (while she is still asleep). One of the children sucks her finger which removes the piece of flax which was keeping her asleep. She wakes up to find herself raped and the mother of two kids.” Click this link to read about many more not listed here.

Goldilocks: Pretty girl breaks into someone else’s home and trashes the joint unwary of the fact that the owners are people (and porridge) eating bears.

Cinderella: For those that never made the connection, the girl’s name is Ella and she is usually covered in ashes (cinders) because of all the slave work her step-mother and sisters make her do. Thus Cinder-Ella. But still what a way to prepare kids for the now common occurrence of having a blended family. Evil step-mothers and all.

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