Homecoming Mums Are a Bizarre, Texas-Only Tradition

It's that time of the year when high school students (but really their parents) are supposed to pony up and by the amazingly ridiculous chest bouquets known as "homecoming mums." It's time to stop. Just staaaahp.

Homecoming mums are just a weird Texas thing -- like Willie Nelson.

A homecoming mum signifies that that person is "taken," "loved" or something to that effect. Occasionally, moms will get one because they are their son's "best girl." Over time, they've gotten bigger, dumber and more ridiculous.

So, what exactly is a "homecoming mum"? It's usually several pieces of ribbon attached to an oversized flower, with maybe a plastic football or some other little gadget attached to it.

I guess in the long run it's no different than getting your girl candy or flowers for Valentine's Day, but it sure seems like an unnecessary expense -- especially for athletes who find it tough to earn themselves while their sport is in season. You may also not know that the whole homecoming mum thing is a Texas thing.  For some reason, this tradition took hold here and has not let go.

On occasion I've peeped one of those shows about modern-day gypsies and their amazingly intricate and sometimes weird dresses, marveling at the truly bizarre customs. That's how I imagine folks from other places view the tradition of Texas homecoming mums.

So kids and moms, have your fun. But for you kids low on dough, or even low on a person to give one to, don't sweat it. It's just one more weird thing we do in Texas.

(For those of you who still think this tradition is the bee's knees, here's a tutorial on how to make them yourselves. Yeah, like you got time for that.)