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How Do You Pretend That You’re Not Holding A Boy Puppy?

I mentioned before that I have new friend named “Gus”. He’s a friends dog that I’ve been watching off and on since he was a little puppy.  He likes to climb up and take a nap with me.  Sometimes he lays across my leg.  This is where the problem is.

“I am so totally putting my jimmy on this dudes thigh”

So, Gus was laying across my leg.  He’s a bit bigger than a puppy now.  Still, on a cold day, it’s comforting to kick back with a warm puppy near you lap.  That is until I kind of noticed  something on my thigh.  Yes, I’m talking about hot puppy dong.  Now, he’s too young to be excited or anything, but there is no denying that the dog is laying his bingo right across my leg.   Even worse, it’s on the side that I, let’s say, “tend to favor” myself.  I’m not down with inter-species sword fighting.

As I mentioned in a previous blog, this is the first time I’ve been around a puppy in decades. I’m used to taking in strays that have always been far too big to get their business anywhere near me.  So what do you do?  How do you pretend it’s not there?  How do you say “excuse me Mr. Puppy, would you please not put your wang on my leg?”

I’m going to continue to hang out with Gus, he is after all my buddy, but I think I’m going to have to put a pillow or something between us.

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