I don't know what Mac Engel looks like, but he is insanely jealous of how pretty Kliff Kingsbury is. He's called Kingsbury "the prettiest coach in college football."

I'm not just saying that because he wrote a joke in an article last night immediately following TCU's loss last night, in which he blamed the lack of attendance at Amon G. Carter Stadium on the Texas Tech fanbase's disgust with Kingsbury:

"Red Raider nation loves their own, and specifically Kingsbury, but it has grown quite bored with their King. They want to see him win, because he wants to be there, but they are tired of the constant flirtation with .500.

All one had to do to see that was look at the number of empty seats at Amon G. Carter Stadium on Thursday night; the Red Raiders normally fill up the place.

Fans are tired of it, and Kingsbury knows it."

There is some truth in this, sure, but to blame an empty stadium on the opposing fans? I could bag on the fact that the TCU stadium is empty against pretty much everyone. Do those teams want to fire their coaches, too? I won't go there though, trying to stay on the high road.

Next: Why Kliff Kingsbury is the nicest guy in Lubbock

The fact of the matter is, Mac Engel just cannot stop thinking about Kliff Kingsbury and his Frat Boy Feng Shui. That's not me calling Kingsbury a frat boy; it's another Engelism: "our favorite frat boy." At least Kingsbury is his favorite frat boy?

Engel defended using the "Coach Bro" nickname on Twitter:

Sure, that's it. Youthful exuberance. I guess if this was the first time Engel went after Kingsbury in a pedantic and petty way, I could just laugh it off. But it's not just this one article. We've only just begun.

Here Engel is an article about Texas Tech head basketball coach, Chris Beard: "Between Mike Leach, Tommy Tuberville, Bob Knight, Pat Knight, Billy Gillispie, Coach Bro and Tubby Smith, Texas Tech’s recent history with high profile coaches is a wee bit of a wreck."

Could he have just been positive about Chris Beard? No! Kliff Kingsbury is too damn hot! He can't even write his name, for Pete's sake.

This is a quote from a spicy number from Engel in 2017 about Kingsbury's success and how it should be attributed to Johnny Manziel: "Johnny made two coaches whose behinds now reside on two of the hottest seats in Texas, and the nation: Sumlin, and Coach Bro’ in Lubbock."

Believe it or not, after Kingsbury out-coached Gary Patterson last night for an entire game, Engel doubled down on his Johnny Football take: "With the man who made Kliff Kingsbury watching from the sideline, the coach went out and saved himself without needing any help from Johnny Manziel."

(Shout out to Johnny Manziel for coming out to watch the Red Raiders, though!)

I could go on, but I'm burning brain cells.

In all seriousness, it's downright pathetic how Mac Engel writes about Kliff Kingsbury.

Could I find a way to slam Gary Patterson in every TCU article I ever write? Yes, I could.

I could call him a troll-like figure who screams so much he's getting sued for it. I could bag on the fact he needs a dedicated towel girl to follow him around for his over-active glandular excretions. I could make fun of his shoe tying habits, or ask him to get a better belt instead of doing his Matt Foley impression up and down the sideline.

But I'm not that kind of person. I love the high road.

On a professional level, I actually love that Engel calls Kingsbury "Coach Bro." I bet that article of his got crazy traffic. Just a peek behind the curtain here: angry clicks are still, well, clicks. Engel may not even like the nickname himself, but he absolutely crushed last night by putting that stupid headline out there. And, he will continue to do it every time Kingsbury is even within sniffing distance of whatever topic he's writing about that day.

To that, I say, "Touche, Mr. Engel. Well played."

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These Kliff Kingsbury Videos Are Too Hot for Mac Engel