Listen up chuckle heads, today is the day people all across the nation (should) spend the day celebrating the one person in their lives who loves them unconditionally from the moment they are conceived to the moment they find themselves in jail for the fourth time for public intoxication and disorderly conduct with a poster of Martha Stewart in Kmart.

Yes you knuckle heads it's Mother's Day. So get up off your rear ends and go get mom a huge bouquet of flowers, a dozen chocolate covered strawberries, and some "fine jewries" from the Wal-Marts, and don't forget the card!

Unless you're like me and realize nothing less than a certificate declaring your mommy a saint for putting up with your crazy behind for all these years, then you should probably get her a house and a car too...

Barb, you're the greatest! I love you!!