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Put Your Phone Down

Hello miss Texas Tech.  Oh, I see you’re using the self checkout for your groceries.  Nice.  Oh wait, you’re going to stop to check your texts?  Are you serious?  Do you not see some of us are waiting to check out?  C’mon, you only have a few more items!  I know you’re important and Becca wants to tell you that Steve gave her herpes, but C’MON!

Seriously.  I’m going to tell you something that you’re not going to want to hear.  Chances are very, very high that NOTHING INTERESTING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU EVER, AND CHANCES ARE MINISCULE THAT IT WILL HAPPEN ON ANY ONE DAY, HOUR OR MINUTE.

Seriously asshats, quit checking your phone every few seconds.  It just makes you look like a needy, addicted, A.D.D. riddled jackass. Here’s a new rule too: if you check your phone while I’m talking to you, I’m walking away.  Go fudge yourself.  If you can’t have a minute of human interaction without having your electronic eye pacifier out, then I’ll leave you two alone to make sweet love.

I’m sure at some point in the future you’re smartphone will be hooked directly into one of your veins and you’ll have to monitor how much dumb-dumb juice it pumps into your veins, (so you don’t know what’s going on in the real world) but until that time, maybe, just maybe you could at least have some respect for others and check it when we’re not waiting on you to finish something.

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