Of all of the histrionics that have come out of this recent election, the absolute dumbest has to be the ‘secede’ crowd.  First off, what kind of pre-school behavior is that( I don’t like the way this game turned out so I’m going to take my toys and go home)? . Next, it has to be the most poorly thought out idea ever and I’m going to spell it out for you. More after the jump.


It’s amazing to me that I’ve debate this topic with a number of people and they know so little.  The internet is out there for facts (if you go to credible sources) and common sense will get you a long way.  Yep, I said “common sense” which seems to be at an all-time low these days.

All of the talk of Texas leaving the U.S. comes from petitions filed on the U.S. Government website. They were filed by lugheads and not by the state (by the way, even Governor Rick Perry has said he wasn’t for secession).  The fact is, anybody can file a petition for anything. One has even been filed to ‘deport those people who signed the petition for secession’.   These secessionists (most of whom can’t spell ‘secessionists’) have it in their mind that Texas would be better off on it’s on than to be a part of the United States.  Sorry folks, I’ll admit it-I’m an American first and a Texan second.  I believe in sharing responsibilities with ALL of my fellow Americans.  The thought that a Texan would tell his relatives in Oklahoma, California, Alaska or wherever “we’re leaving, you’re on your own” is sickening.  The Texans I know aren’t like that.  Let’s also consider the fact that most Texans don’t want this, it’s a small group of poor losers who think they can “run away from home because daddy is too strict”.

Now, how about the realities of leaving the union? First off, you can’t.  It was held in Texas vs White that Texas joined an insoluble union and therefore could not leave.   It is an absolute myth that Texas “can leave anytime” (even our governor said it the other day, and it isn’t true).  The problem is, the U.S. has a lot of interests in Texas and they would not let them go.  The U.S. built interstates, bridges, seaports, post offices, military bases and on and on here and they are not just going to walk away from them.  You don’t get to just ‘try’ something  like statehood for 150 years and decide it’s just not for you.

Let’s look at some other realities of the situation. Let’s say Texas was “cut loose” from the Union (yes, you can’t quit the United States, but the United States can kick you out).  First off, we’re going to need an army to protect our borders.  Then we’re going to need a navy to protect the Gulf of Mexico.  We might even need an airforce to protect us from flying Okies.  One of the dumbest ideas that I heard from a secessionist was, “we just need to leave and the U.S. can just be our ally”.  Oh, so you think you can flip the finger at the U.S. and it will just come running when you have trouble?  I personally would let whatever aggressor bloody up your nose real good before I’d save the day.   We’re also going to need our own ambassadors and trade agreements. We’re going to need a new immigration office because now not only do we have to worry about illegals from the south, we’re also going to have them from the north, and the east and the west (heck, the Dallas Cowboys will need passports to play in the NFL.  Texas Tech will have to get green cards for ‘out of Texas’ players).  We’re also going to have a new branch of law enforcement to replace the federal agents and a new agency to make sure that playgrounds are safe.  Oh, the government won’t be sending our farmers farm subsidies anymore either.  I think at this point you know where I’m going with this.  For every tax dollar the U.S. sends to Washington, Texas gets ninety-one cents back. It’s not a bad return for the stuff the government does to protect us and our country.  Secessionist love to say that 'if Texas quit the Union, we'd have the world's 7th largest economy".  Well, I guess you guys forgot we'd have to pay for all of these services we have to replace (including new taxes and tariffs at all of our new borders, crossings, ports, etc. and us not being as readily able to sell our exports).

So, I’ve managed to give you all of these talking points and all of this is considering it would be a ‘bloodless” transfer of power.  Guess what?  That’s not going to happen.  I know some of you have nice shiny new guns and you’re just aching to shoot someone, but if there was a “Texas Revolution” you are at a BIG disadvantage.  Not only would the U.S. protect its interests, Mexico would be happy to jump in.  That doesn’t scare you?  Well the U.N. would be on their way, as would China who would want to make sure the U.S. stayed strong so it could pay back its loans.  Oh, and MOST of all, myself and other fellow Texans with common sense will be standing up straight as Americans and pointing out your bunkers when the troops come.  Then again, all the troops really  have to do is look for the “Secede” bumper sticker on your car.

There are between 25.1 and 25.6 MILLION Texans.  So what if even a few hundred thousand (and the number hasn’t reached that yet) want to behave like poor losers.  The number is puny when compared to the whole.  Don’t let this juvenile behavior freak you out.

In conclusion, I’m sorry if I bored you with this (you should have quit reading earlier). I’m also not a professional writer, I’m just a d.j.  I think it’s even scarier that a stupid d.j. could figure out the giant logic gaps in this movement.   AMERICA is ONE NATION, with liberty and Justice for all.  Texas comes from the word Tejas which means ‘friend’ or “ally”.  Let’s behave as such. Also, I know there's a few of you sitting there red faced ready to pound out some type of counter to my argument, all I ask is give me FACTS.  Not opinions, but facts on why I'm wrong.  E Pluribus Unum.