Ladies and gentlemen, the future is here! It can be found in the food isle of your local supermarket! Are you ready for "Spaghetti Of The Future"?  Are you ready for the toast with the most (states)? Well hold onto your colon, there's a new food train a comin'!

No more will you have to spend grueling seconds breaking your spaghetti noodles in half, it's "Pot Ready Spaghetti".  You just add your pot to it and spend the rest of the day acting like one of the Super Mario Brothers is really high.  Okay, no, that's not it. This spaghetti actually solves two problems, the first being all that sweat-inducing breaking and whatnot and the second is it will probably fit better in your pantry. I'm buying it from now on (it's the same price as regular spaghetti).  One last thing, does the "h" in spagHetti piss anyone else off? It just makes me mad.

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Next was a product that made me feel duped!  I recently came into a lot of pepperoni.  Like five pounds of it. If pepperoni were dollars, I'd be a millionaire. So I thought I'd make some easy-to-throw-together pepperoni garlic bread pizzas (your mouth is watering right now, I know). Anyways, I didn't really look at the label until I got home!  What kind of skullduggery is this?  Texas toast from "New York"?  I'd like to remind everyone that it wasn't that long ago that Pace Picante Sauce that that just bringing salsa from New York was a hanging offense. I'm bumfuzzled and I don't know what to do with it! So is it "Texas Toast" with New York garlic? And how did this partnership shake out? Were there governors or lawmakers involved? Surely Texans don't hate New Yorkers, but we're rightfully suspicious of them because they talk funny and they live above the Mason-Dixon line. Furthermore, will I strike of chord of unity if I put cheese from Real California Dairy on them? This box has surely left me with more questions than answers.

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