newshole

Sometimes a headline is so great, you really can't say anything else.  Heathen had one of those today in the Newshole news.  Yes, it's epic and yes it's next.

Now some of you are saying 'duh' right now, but remember, this wouldn't be a topic if someone hadn't done it already.  Yes we have a boy genius who looked at some firecrackers, looked at his butthole, looked back at the firecrackers and went "wow, these would fit right up there".  Yes, he lit them too.  The story is after the break.

Tell me one thing, who doesn't love a good 'scrotum ripping' story?  They're are simply the best!  Holy cow, can you even imagine?  I know, YOU DON'T WANT TO IMAGINE.  This evil little story and a couple more after the jump.

Hey what's worse that putting pictures of your crimes on Facebook?  Committing crimes against the POLICE and putting the pictures on Facebook.  Yes technology is allowing us a whole new class of dumbass criminals.  More after the jump.

Kids, they're cute so we don't beat them.  Seriously, kids are like little miniature savages just waiting for you to turn your back so they can mess stuff up.  Heathen's kids are...uh...heathens.  This is a pretty funny story, check it out and two other bonus pieces of RockShow audio after the jump.

I don't have to tell you that burglars are creepy. It's got to be on everyones list of fears that they're in the house with some kind of intruder.  You just don't know if they want to steal your stuff or put a potato in your butt (you just don't know with these potato butt intruders).  Sometimes, if you get lucky, maybe the intruder didn't mean any harm at all.  More after the jump.

You see the point I'm trying to make with the title of this article is, you can't prove you're not crazy by filing a crazy lawsuit.  Sorry, but I felt like I had to explain that for some of the crazy people out there.  This lady may be ready for a rubber room.