I rarely make it out to the theaters and I rarely bother with the 3d. I don't need cheap effects to help me enjoy a show.  I made two big exceptions and made my way out to see Texas Chainsaw and I'm really glad I did.  More after the jump.


First off, let me be a pig for a second. If you are a heterosexual male, or a gay or bi curious female, go see Texas Chainsaw. It's like the producers said "go find me a brunette with the best boobs ever and a blonde with the best butt ever".  Holy moly! I really, really hate to reduce women to "parts" but the two leads are stunning.  The main lead also has the most beautiful blue eyes you've ever seen in your life.  You're going to fall in love with this girl while watching this movie. Now, there's no full on nudity, but the tiny glimpses are breathtaking. Wow.

Now onto the story, and I don't do spoilers. I'm not going to run anything for you.  The movie is clever because it basically shows you the end of the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie and subtlety shifts into the new movie.  Now there is nothing really groundbreaking in the story, in fact many of the elements you've seen time and time again. The beginning is not unlike the beginning of "The Devil's Rejects" which itself borrowed heavily from other movies.  The movie itself can be summed up in one line: a young woman inherits a house unaware that she also inherited Leatherface.  From there the story goes into a towns hidden secrets, vigilantes, revenge and a whole bunch of chainsaw action.

I personally found this to be the most satisfying Chainsaw movie yet.  Even though it's supposedly a sequel, the beginning I mentioned allows you to watch the movie as a stand alone.  Yes, there's some goofy action movie type cliches.  The ending is a little unauthentic, but still satisfying.  There's also tons of gore and believe it or not, the goriest death doesn't even happen at the hands of a chainsaw.

I give Texas Chainsaw five out of five Nightmares.