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The Black Keys Are Lazy: That’s Why They Suck So Bad [VIDEO]

I figured out why The Black Keys are such a crappy band. They’re lazy!

I’ve not been a fan of the band since day one. They’re pretentious a-hole douchebags who think their music is so amazing. They talk smack about every other band out there like little cry-babies. They sell themselves out at every opportunity, and they do nothing but complain about “music these days” yet are only adding to that problem. So why would I think they’re lazy?

Because they’re lazy! They often say that they never write songs before they record an album. They try to espouse that it makes the records more organic. No, it means you can’t really write songs so you need some hipster phrase to make your crap appealing to other hipster douchebags. They’re lazy because they don’t take the time to try to write quality music, and craft a quality song. You know who else doesn’t write before the record? Free jazz musicians. You ever heard that crap? its not music by any stretch of the imagination, and you guys aren’t even that good.

Plus they’re “organic” sound is nothing but re-hashed blues, with low production value. John Lee Hooker is already a musician. So are all the other 50’s and 60’s delta blues men and women. They did it. You copying it doesn’t make it fresh. It makes you copy-cats. Again, lazy.

They always complain about every other band out there, and how those bands are utter crap. In other words, they have nothing positive to say even about their own music, so the only thing they can do is try to bring other artists down. Plus, when they complain, they say the same crap everybody else says so they can’t even take the time to come up with an original reason to not like the other bands. All disturbed songs sound similar? Yeah because they found a formula that works for them, and every Disturbed song kicks ANY of your songs asses.

They have willingly sold themselves to any buyer available. If your music was that good, you wouldn’t need to sell it to anybody to get it played. You’re seven albums in and people are just now taking notice of you? Wow, true talent there.

And finally today I read that the band released a new video. Originally it was going to have a story line along with live club footage. Then, “frontman Dan Auerbach explained, “We all just sort of kind of mutually agreed that it should probably just be the performance and not any of the other extra stuff. Luckily we had live footage so we turned it into a live video.”

In other words they didn’t even want to finish their own video! They just crammed some live footage together. LAZY! Eff these shotty a-holes.

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