I had one of those moments today in the supermarket. You know, where you wished you would have said the right thing at the right time, but didn’t.  I really was distracted and didn’t figure out what the chump was talking about until too late.   I was just standing there and this guy totally at random said, “I wish I was having lobster for lunch”.  I had no idea what he was talking about and I just said “me too”.  Then as he was walking away I heard him say “I wonder if my tax dollars are paying for that”.  It still didn’t occur to me until I looked up a few minutes later that the television was on the inauguration festivities.  More, if you dare, after the jump.


Now, if you know me, I support EVERY elected President. I’ll make fun of them if they trip or say something goofy, but I pretty much leave their policy making alone.  I figure that they’re elected to do the best they can for all of America so I don’t get too upset if I don’t get m way with everything.  Now with that said, let’s look at how a dumbass thinks and doesn’t think.

First off, let’s look at the situation. A black man, celebrated being elected President of the United States on MARTIN LUTHER KING day by having a lobster.  Well, I’m pretty sure he deserved it.  I’d personally buy a guy a lobster for much less achievements than that.  Next, I’m betting if you added up every meal every President ate while you were alive and divided it down to your tax dollars, it would probably be about ten cents a year to feed your leader (actually probably much, much, less).

Next “I wish I had a lobster”.  Let’s break this down this envy into some bullet points.  In order to have that lobster, the President went to college and got educated. He had to pull most of America together to get elected. For that, each decision he makes weighs on him and ages him in dog years.  Opponents examine every single word he says so they can take two or three out of context and use them against them. He get’s to be the target of scurrilous rumors.  He is hated by those who are envious of him.  His family are now and will forever be targets of nut jobs.  He has to make decisions on putting troops in harm’s way and what causes are worth fighting for.  He gets no privacy. He can’t go for a Sunday drive or a swim or even take a dump without being surrounded by Secret Service.  Oh, and let's not forget, if someone would have bought that lobster for him, he would have been accused of selling out to special interests.  Now, all of this is back breaking for a white President.  This President has all of these duties and responsibilities and there are still stupid redneck assbags who will call  him the most hurtful word they can, AND he does it in a country that still, in some places, won’t let a black and a white attend a prom together.

So to the gentleman that wishes for the lobster- I wish you could carry the President’s load for a day, but you probably could not. It’s a load that breaks lesser men instantly.  I wish you would have educated yourself and made something of yourself.  I mostly wish you weren’t such a white trash piece of crap with no empathy for others.  Also, I wish you weren’t so stupid  and that you knew you can go get a lobster dinner in town for about $25  (And I hope you choke on it).