Guys, how many times have you been nudged in the middle of the night because your woman heard a noise? What about being forced to get up out of bed and search the house, the closets, and under the beds because your child had a bad dream? Come on men say it with me, been there, done that!So could someone, anyone, PLEASE explain to me why females seem to find the idea of vampires so "hot!"

I remember 5 years ago EVERY Sunday night at 8:50 Woody would simply leave the room and go turn on the TV in the other room. I always figured she had just had enough of my Sunday sports day yelling at the TV and needed to decompress before starting a new week.

Little did I know.

Then one night I heard sounds of sex coming from the living room; raunchy, nasty, full on sex sounds. Naturally, being a guy, I had to investigate to see if  she was watching porn without me or she had a bold secret lover.

That was the night I found out she was having an affair with not one but two vampires..That night I discovered "True Blood" on HBO for myself.

All I can say is DAMN!

Needless to say after that night she no longer had to leave the room. As a man, I have to say hell yes to watching soft porn with my woman. The fact that there are actual story lines that are awesome with characters you find yourself really feeling like you know makes it a great way to spend a Sunday!

Be ready all you "True Blood" lovers, the new season starts June 10. I know where I will be that night!