Charlie Sheen says he's a "Warlock" and that he has fire coming from both hands (as well as tiger blood and some other stuff).   According to the Salem Gazzette, pagans have a problem with this:

Some Salem witches are planning a ritual on Sunday, March 6, that they expect will dissuade Sheen from misusing the word warlock in the future. They also intend for the ritual to help Sheen cleanse himself of the negativity they believe is poisoning him.

The Rock Show disagrees wholeheartedly. We do not believe that the Pagans get to exclusively use the word "Warlock".  In fact we are casting a Brown-Eye Gas Spell in their direction (which we believe is the proper counterspel for their "binding spell").  We are doing this because we will now refer to out Party Animal friends as Warlocks.  We will use our old slogan goes' like this:


We ain't leavin' 'till we're heavin'!

Now, let's get our party on!