10 Reasons You Should Date My VERY Single Roommate
Well, guys, if you listen to The RockShow, you may have heard Wes Nessman and me talk a little bit about my silly roommate, Steven.
I want all of you single ladies out there, sitting around waiting for prince charming, to know that Steven is in fact INCREDIBLY single and if anyone wants to take him off of my hands for an evening, it would be most appreciated. As much as my boyfriend and I enjoy his company, I think you might enjoy it more.
Here are 10 reasons why you should totally date my single roommate Steven:
1. Steven is half white and half Mexican, just like Taco Villa, and everyone loves that place.
2. Steven is bald by choice, just like The Rock.
3...and Bruce Willis.
4. Steven has lots of tattoos. 50+ because if you can't tell by the photo, he is super tough.
5. Steven is easy to please. He just wants sex he doesn't have to pay for and a woman with an even number of boobs.
6. Steven does not use meth.
7. Steven is not above dating a redhead that drinks tequila all day after his experiences in 2020.
8. Steven is an upscale bartender and by upscale, I mean, he usually can't afford drinks at the place he works.
9. Steven looks similar to Milhouse, Bart Simpsons best friend, and if he is good enough for Bart, he is good enough for you.
10. If you date Steven and he ends up moving out of my house and into yours before his lease is up, I will give you $25.