With Halloween only two days away, I decided this was the perfect time to give you guys some tips on how to carve the perfect Jack-O-Lantern.

I have found the key to every great Jack-O-Lantern is obviously picking the right pumpkin.

I mean come on, let's face it, if you get one of those little bitty pumpkins you can't customize it, all you can do with those is stick wiggly eyes and glitter on them and call them decorations.

If you get one of those giant pumpkins, aside from always being heavy as... well, REALLY heavy, they also are never round and never sit up right. They always sorta lean, like Jabba the Hut on crack or something. Add that to the fact that you need a freaking chain saw just to cut 'em.

Once you have the perfect pumpkin... Who am I kidding, I don't give a crap about carving Jack -O-Lanterns... But this video is hilarious!  Watch it...