Let's just get this cleared up right now: moms don't want a new vacuum cleaner or anything else related to domestic upkeep for Mother's Day. Having said that, I do have suggestions for some ways to pamper Mom this Mother's Day.
Listen up chuckle heads, today is the day people all across the nation (should) spend the day celebrating the one person in their lives who loves them unconditionally from the moment they are conceived to the moment they find themselves in jail for the fourth time for public intoxication and disorderly conduct with a poster of Martha Stewart in Kmart.
I only left movies twice in my life. Once when I was a little kid and I was watching the horror movie "Frogs" (go ahead and laugh but one guy chokes to death on a tarantula.) the other was a brutal horror film called "Mothers Day". See for yourself and keep reading.