you kick ass

Okay, FORGET politics.  We're talking only about the politicians.  Let's set it up this way.  You walk out of club into a dark alley, you look one way and President Obama has his fists up, so you look the other way and Mitt Romney has his fists up, which way do you go?  More after the jump.

Isn't it great when the bad guys get whats coming to them?  Unfortunately it's usually not as great as it is in the movies, except with today's story.  We're about to tell you about one kid that you don't want to draw down on. This one is awesome, click through.

There are certain things that you look for when you're looking for a 'hookup'.  In fact, you may not even know that you are looking for them.  You might even want to take this list as 'tips' on finding a female that might be interested.  More after the break.

Yeah, I broke out some poetry.  Yes it is beautiful and yes it is also tragic.  Maybe you'll love it.  Maybe you'll hate it.  You will be moved by it. More after the jump.

Oh we have serious fun for you today! We also have serious advice, that may actually help you to not blow yourself up. You see blowing yourself up can be painful and on occasions even deadly. Don't blow yourself up. Listen to today's story's.

Okay, I know some of you are hoping for pictures of ex-husbands and ex-wives, but think a little more global and a little more historical.  Even better, think a little more creative.  There's a new toilet paper coming out guaranteed to bring out the creative side of wiping your chili maker!

Imagine this, you get a tattoo and that tattoo vibrates when you're cell phone rings.  Freaky? The future? Or is it just WTF?  The technology has been patented.  This and more jokerific jokey mcjokes after the jump.

Who doesn't love the concept of "Pizza Roulette"?  Everybody gets a slice, but one slice has been "tainted".  Now I suppose you could taint it with just about anything, but you want something that will get a reaction.  A New Zealand Pizza place has the answer after the jump!

How do you not know that a mobility scooter is bearing down on you? Even more so, how do you let this 4 mile per hour beast plow your ass down?  We've got that story, plus kids say the darnedest things about their dads weiners and more after the jump.

I guess the concept of a "bucket list" is pretty widespread now.  There are a lot of people thinking about the things they'd like to do before they "kick the bucket".  For me, I'd just like to see the beach again, for others the list is as long as your arm.  John Hughes had a very specific item on his list and you'll find out more about it after the jump.

Old people are funny. They are also incredibly dangerous. In today's story we have one fed up and freaked out old lady ready to spill a little blood.

Lisa Rinna is my kryptonite. This woman makes me weak at the knees. She is hot and she loves pleasing her man.  Now she's writing a book about sex.  I'd like to teach her the New Deal Jackhammer.  More after the jump.