New Rules For Texas Tech Games
Oh you dirty little Red Raiders! You’ve been naughty at the games haven’t you? Well, it’s time we lay down some *new rules* for attendees.
Here is my proposed list of new rules for Texas Tech games.
*Snipers will be allowed to take out ANYONE who rushes in field for any game that does not have championship or top ten consequences.
*The interjection of dirty words into any school song will no longer be tolerated. However, any Metallica lyrics CAN BE substituted at any time.
*Chest bumping will be replaces by mid air “wiener touches” (it’s a complicate move, ask me about it later).
*A groovy tie-dye shirt that you wear all season is an excellent alternative to keeping up with all of the “dress in red” and “dress in black” days.
*If you are caught throwing a water bottle at the opposing teams band, they get you to bust you upside your head with their tuba.
*Any students caught ripping up bleachers have to sit on the poles.
*Rowdy students should refrain from drinking alcohol before games. For a mellower crowd, “really dank ass weed” is available from that guy who skateboards around the parking lot in the Bob Marley shirt.
Thank you for attending new kinder and gentler Texas Tech games (see you at the snack bar!)