8 Excuses for Being Late That Work Especially Well in Lubbock

This HAS happened to me. Dust so thick that I could not see where I was going. I WISH the dust around here was just a joke, but it's a reality.

Ah Lubbock, where people get the biggest trucks possible with no thought as to where they're going to park the monsters or how to get them out of a space once they're in there. Never mind the shiny beds that have never hauled anything.

This happens in my neighborhood all the time. I have to be real, though -- no one ever pulls over to move the little dead critters out of the road. You can only use this excuse if you're known for having a really soft heart.

It's almost like a nightmare. Trapped on The Loop*, going in circles and circles and circles. It's like one of the rings of hell was an actual ring and you're stuck on it.

Now, let's keep in mind Lubbock's infamously poor driving skills and lack of courtesy and you could find yourself having to go up an exit or two to get back to where you were going.

*Don't forget that "this a-----e wouldn't let me ON the Loop" works, too.

We have more than one mega-church that causes traffic problems. Strangely, no amount of prayer eases the problem. Careful, especially on a Sunday morning when gang-loads of people hopped up on Jesus try to be the first ones out of the parking lot and into a restaurant.

OK, this one is silly. But it is very possible in the Hub City. You might want to elaborate with something like, 'there I was, tornado coming at me and all I could do is turnaround and go home and fear-sleep until it passed.'

Maybe this one is just me, but I see mattresses in the road, mostly on the Loop and Interstate, all the time. I have no idea why or where they come from. I do know that once one gets into the road, it tends to stay their for days.

Sometimes we forget that Lubbock was just a farm community that somehow got big. Apparently, farmers have places to go to, too; they're just not in a terrible hurry to get there. Getting behind a tractor or trailer full of animals makes for a suck-y (and stinky) drive.