Texas Tech High Jumper Suspended For Hilarious Crime

Dayton Fisher of the Texas Tech Track & Field Team has been suspended, FOR BEING HILARIOUS.  Actually no, it was for misdemeanor theft and being a minor who's had a drinky poo.  None of this would be news, but he tried pulling one of the gags that we've all thought of when we've had too much to drink.

So are you ready for this? The police report has Dayton and another fella accused of "trying to steal an elephant shaped shrub". At this point, I once again have to say that I feel for the guy. I've been buzzed and thought about stuff like that quite a bit, and actually did it once or twice (when I was a Senior we stole a two-seater outhouse and put it on the roof of the school).  Hopefully the embarrassment of this situation combined with a couple fines will scare Dayton straight. I have to ask though, why didn't he just jump over a fence when the cops showed up?

Tech said Dayton has been suspended from competition until they investigate the matter.

With all due respect, it could have been a demand of "The Knights Who Say Ni"