My digital editor made me change the title. The original title was "Halloween Candy That Can Die And Go To Hell". I feel better having said that.

So how do you define "worst"? Well this some of this stuff is flavorless, unnecessarily hard, chewy or actually belongs in some earlier era. These are the disappointments, the tooth-breakers and filling pullers. The stuff you have to say "thank you" for, when you really want to egg the house instead.

  • 1

    Those Weird Black And Orange Taffys

    These things only appear around Halloween. They taste like synthetic peanut butter mixed with Soylent Green (go ahead and look that reference up, I'll wait).  Still, when I was a kid, I'd eat them, they'd just be last.

  • 2

    Candy Corn

    There is no logical reason why Candy Corn exists. It's wax nuggets of sugar that are painted somewhat, but not even shaped like corn. I'd like to fill a sock with about 5 pounds of candy corn and beat the inventor with it.

  • 3

    Wax Bottles

    These were kind of thing when I was a kid, therefor parents in a retro mood still buy these on occasion and they should stop. Just. Stop. Now. Remember they had about three drops of liquid in them? It was always fun to slam the three drops, then act like you just drank a full coke. Oh, and you were supposed to eat or chew the bottle and it was just horrible. Wax is like candy for Amish people or something.

  • 4

    Sugar Daddy's

    Don't get me wrong, if you can find some FRESH Sugar Daddy's or Sugar Babies, you're in some tall cotton. The problem is, there is no such thing as FRESH Sugar Daddy's or Sugar Babies and there hasn't been since the 70's. This isn't a candy, is a chore for your mouth.

  • 5

    Dots

    No kidding, I think I lost my first filling do to one of these unholy pieces of congealed animal hoof remnants. Further discussion will take place under #6.  I don't know why this gets pushed down generation to generation, it's like actual "sins of the father" in gelatin form.

  • 6

    Generic Gummy Stuff

    Okay, "generic gummy stuff" is kind of the "Dots" of the Halloween season. Gummy spiders, gummy skeletons, gummy gummies....it's all okay until it gets about a day old then it becomes flavored plastic. At least Dots had flavor through and through, the gummy stuff today all tastes like you rolled a bicycle tire through some sugar and then cut it up into smaller pieces.

  • 7

    Candy Buttons

    Here's the concept: let's make a candy where the goal is for the consumer to eat the least amount of paper possible, even though we know they will ultimately fail. Once again parents, when you get in that nostalgic mood, really think about what you're doing. Candy buttons were ass back then and they are ass now.

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