11 Weird Easter Treats Found at a Lubbock Walmart [Pictures]
Wow, how do I approach the Easter topic? I guess with a little help and some pictures.
All the items were on the shelf of a local Walmart. Now, let's dive in a deeper. For believers, Easter is the holiday to celebrate that Jesus Christ rose after crucifixion. Now, how do chocolate, bunnies and the giving of candy relate to that? It's pretty random, and I think my friend Bill Hicks best questions it in the video below the gallery.
All photos by Wes Nessman.
There's something disturbing about this. It's supposed to be one of the M&M guys in a rabbit suit, but he looks more like he's caught in some weird half-metamorphosis where he is neither candy nor rabbit, but some hellish in between.
Okay, stay with me a second. Imagine a kid sitting in a corner slowly rocking back and forth and eating a chocolate cross. Seems like the stuff of nightmares to me. The good news is, chocolate crosses can be used to ward off Count Chocula.
Let's get this straight: ALL Peeps are 'Mystery Flavor.' No additional packaging is needed -- none.
It's not the religious angle that's disturbing here; it's the weird, eggish shape given to the animals. It looks more like they are animal embryos, and that makes this VERY disturbing.
Nothing says "remembering the death and rebirth of our savior" like an intergalactic bounty hunter. At least the Star Wars people had the class to not even put "Easter" on the box. Oh wait, they did. Never mind.
I kind of don't even get who these are targeted to. If it were 30 years ago, I'd spike them with LSD and sell them outside Grateful Dead concerts. As Cartman would say: damn hippies.
It's not so much the whole "take back Easter" message that this somehow conveys, but the fact that it's in the shape of a fish. The idea of chocolate and fish makes my tummy do flippy-floppys.
Once again, eggs full of bugs is what I get here, instead of bug-shaped eggs. I'm just not getting how bugs + chocolate + eggs = Easter.
I guess we've all heard jokes or maybe thought about eating those cute chocolate Easter bunnies, but there is something about this wide-eyed lamb that screams "for the love of all that is good and holy, please don't eat me!"
Seriously -- what the hell is this thing?
These bits of grotesque-ry are advertised as marshmallow suckers. You don't lick marshmallows. Sorry, I'm not having it. Let's also add that item A is once again Peeps, which are birds on a stick. and item B is from Veggie Tales, the weird cartoon about religious vegetables.
A classic bit about how "random" Easter celebrations are. Careful strong language.