Hilarious Stories of Petty Theft From FMX Listeners
When I was a kid, my favorite thing to do was steal a single fake grape from the grape display at Hobby Lobby. I know. It's weird. I used to put it in my mouth and bite on it until the tiny hole in it suctioned to my tongue. Again...yes. weird.
I was never caught. Still on the run.
I sometimes feel the urge to steal them at the store as an adult, but I know better now than to take things that aren't mine.
I asked my friends and fans of 94.5 FMX to share with me some stories of their own petty theft and now I feel much better about ONLY taking a little plastic grape. You guys were way naughtier than me, which is why I have elected to leave your last names out of this post. You never know where them po-po's be hidin'....
Also, I hope you all learned from your stupidity. Stealing is lame. Don't do it.
TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING STUPID YOU STOLE
"I took the tube from the bank and they called my mom." - Charlie
"Went to the sewing store with my mom when I was four. The nice lady behind the counter gave me a bag “to shop”. So, I shopped. When we got home, my mom noticed the very full bag I had in my hands. After a full-on mom freak out because her toddler was a kleptomaniac, we went bag to the store and returned the whole bag." - Courtney
"All the baby Jesuses from all the neighborhood’s Xmas nativity scenes. They were placed in random areas throughout town. It was funny at the time." - Kyle
"A handful of CDs from Walmart and I got busted. I also didn't find out until later that all CDs from Walmart are censored." - Douglas
"Cigar when I was 8....went in the ally to smoke it...instant karma. Got sick as F." - Thomas
"When I was a senior in high school me and my friends would “steal” our theater teacher's car. We would take his keys while he was directing and move his car to the other side of the school and leave a note of where it was located." - Corey
"I remember being in Alsup's when I was a kid maybe 5. They had apples sitting there and I didn’t know any better so I grabbed it and took a huge bite. The lady at the counter said "Hey! What’re you doing?" So I sat it down bite side down and ran." - Austin
"I stole a pack of gum from the Lowe’s that used to be on Elgin and 50th? I think? Right before a Girl Scout meeting. I panicked and handed out the whole pack and my mom found out I had been distributing it so, she asked me where I got it from and I had to go back inside Lowe’s, find the manager and apologize. It was mortifying" - Callie
"When I was younger I had always wanted this Budweiser sign at this one bar. Problem was that it was right at the entrance of the place. A friend and I decided to try to take it. So we stood at the front of the sign pretending to talk while I leaned against it. I unscrewed it from the wall one-handed. It took forever or what seemed like forever. When it came off the wall it hit the floor but no one noticed. I put it behind my back and my friend walked right behind me...We got it to my truck and went back to the bar after it was put away. Bad thing was that we sat at the bar and the bartender came up to us and told us that next time we want a sign to just ask her. She said we looked like a couple of monkeys humping a football trying to be all sneaky." - Mario
"I stole a Backstreet Boys poster for a girlfriend in middle school. She told me on the phone she liked N’sync better so I smuggled it back into the store and put it back. I didn’t steal an N’sync one. Haha." - Zachary
"A Christmas light bulb when I was like 7 or 8. Like the outdoor trim light bulbs. It was just loose on the shelf at Walmart. I don’t know why." - Haley
"My brother and I stole a candle, matches, and a watermelon. From Sun Rexall drugs and Kroger’s in Richardson Texas. I was seven and he was ten. We made a fort out of appliance boxes we got from a dumpster. We then had watermelon by candlelight in a box in our backyard. Imagine coming across two young boys dragging two refrigerator boxes, a watermelon, candles, and matches on a hot August day on a Saturday afternoon!" - Chuck
"As a teenager, I and a couple of friends stole a Ronald McDonald statue, and Grimace and the for about two weeks would leave them in compromising positions at a different park every night. Then it was finally decided to return them to their original spot like nothing ever happened. We never got caught. But from time to time you would hear rumors of the random sightings all over town." - Jay
"Ran outta gas late at night with my band. My drummer and I walked 1/2 a mile to an RV park. Seen a gas can on the guy's front step and asked if he had a gas can we could borrow and pay to use. The guy said he didn’t have one (it was literally at his feet) So when he closed the door I stole the hell outta it." - Eric
"When I was a child they used to sell yogurt with toys attached to the lids. When my mom was not looking my brother and I would go and take the toys but we wouldn't buy the yogurt. This went on for a while until a girl who worked there saw us and started making radio noises and said "The police is coming!" My brother and I emptied our pockets and ran to my mom and we never took the toys again" - Janeth
"I stole eggs for my 4-H incubator... Wasn't caught, but they were also cold and unfertilized eggs from the grocery store. I was 13-years-old. #RottenEggs30DaysLater" - Derrick
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