I'm going to be very honest. I saw this coming from miles away.

Evan Rachael Wood heavily intimated that her unnamed alleged abuser was Marilyn Manson. Before her official announcement, I wasn't quite ready to let him go. His music, his aesthetic, his persona helped shape me as a person. How does one forsake a part of their identity?

Some people say she should have seen it coming, that he's a freak and she should have been smarter. To which I will say, and will always say: 

Only the abuser deserves the blame

I grew up in Lubbock, a city that protested Manson's performance for being "satanic." I watched as protesters, in an act of extreme irony, bought tickets so they could protest inside the venue. An elder goth hurled a live mouse at them. My god, I was so impressed.

I loved the anger. I loved the defiance. I loved standing up for art, even if it appeared ugly or scary to other people. The concert ended at 10:30 p.m. which is decidedly not satanic.

Some people say her parents should have stepped in, shouldn't have let their daughter around an older man. To which I say, and will always say:

Only the abuser deserves the blame

My dad took away my three-faced Christ shirt I bought at Gadzooks in the mall. It was much too large for me anyway, but it was 1996ish and getting a rock shirt in a size that fit my body was a miracle. It said 'Believe' on the back, with 'Lie' highlighted. A few years ago, I saw my dad wearing it. I still find that very endearing.

Some people say she's making this up. That she's doing it for clout or politics or attention. But we know from interviews, his own words that he was manipulative and sadistic. Again, I say and will always say:

Only the abuser deserves the blame

I used to love reading rock magazines, but I haven't picked up Spin in 20 years. In that way, I shielded myself from knowing the real Marilyn Manson a little longer. This is a quote from Spin, 2009 about Christmas Day 2008, when Manson was dating Wood:

I called her that day — I called 158 times — I took a razor blade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands. [...] This was intentional, this was a scarification, and this was like a tattoo. I wanted to show her the pain she put me through. It was like, ‘I want you to physically see what you’ve done.’ It sounds made up, but it’s completely true and I don’t give a s–t if people believe it or not. I’ve got the scars to prove it.

This is textbook narcissism. This is a confession of abuse. And it's not isolated. If you'd like to find more, it's out there, and in his own words.

Some people think gaslighting, manipulation and threats of self-harm are not abuse, and that how you react to those situations is entirely up to you. And my last words here will be to say:

Only the abuser deserves the blame

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