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Man Finds Stripper Who Turns Down Crack [AUDIO]

I guess everybody draws the line somewhere.  There's even serial killers who really love cats.  Somewhere in that mix are "strippers who don't do drugs".  More after the jump.

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Woman Cites Big Breasts For Not Complying With D.W.I. Test [AUDIO]

Drunk people are funny (when they aren't killing people by driving drunk). Police had "heard it all" but this may be a new one; the woman in question said she couldn't stand on one leg because her big boobs would mess up her balance.  I don't know about you, but I'm getting a great visual right now.  More details after the jump.

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I’m Not Crazy and That’s Why I’m Suing For 900 Trillion Dollars [AUDIO]

 

You see the point I'm trying to make with the title of this article is, you can't prove you're not crazy by filing a crazy lawsuit.  Sorry, but I felt like I had to explain that for some of the crazy people out there.  This lady may be ready for a rubber room.

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Cop Enforces Express Line Rule With Gun [AUDIO]

I often wonder what the point of express lines are. It seems that no one has the correct number of items, they're using some weird check, found an item with a price tag missing or some crap.

It's just so rare that the concept of express line works that you'd think they'd do away with them.  However, one man chose to enforce the rule at gunpoint.

 

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Man Get’s Steamed Over “No Smoking” Rule [AUDIO]

How far would you go to make a point? Would you threaten someone?  Would you threaten someone with a deadly weapon? Would you threaten them with a chainsaw? Yeah, I think I have you hooked at this point.

 

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Where’s That “Special Sauce” Coming From? [AUDIO]

A man who has fathered a bunch of kids as a sperm donor is claiming to be a virgin.  Is this a good thing, or are you just breeding a tribe of geeks?  Do you want "unmixed" baby batter or do you want the fresh kind?  I have no freakin' idea, Heathen has the story next.

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You Can Lead a Horse to Beer, but You Can’t Make Him Drink It [AUDIO]

Should you be able to sue the beer companies for your alcoholism? I don't think so, but apparently one Native American tribe thinks you should. Since beer has been around pretty much since the beginning of time, I think they're going to find this a tough one to win.

 

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What To Do With Those Extra Bras [AUDIO]

We get lists.  Serious lists, silly lists, stupid lists. It's almost a Dr. Suess list of lists, it's so ridiculist!  The list we have for you today is especially silly.  More after the jump.

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Is Your Date Carrying Extra Underwear? [AUDIO]

Those pretty panties can be pretty uncomfortable. Apparently that's why your date may have them stashed for the old switcheroo later on.  Heathen has the story for you.

 

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Your Wife or Girlfriend Doesn’t Want a Naked You For Valentine’s Day [AUDIO]

Have you seen the movie Your Highness? In the movie there is a minotaur who basically walks around with his willy just bouncing all over the place. That image, is kind of what your wife or girlfriend sees when you just show up naked. Willies are silly, you see!

 

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How to Tell Your Facebook Friend Isn’t Real [AUDIO]

Have you every wondered if that hot girl that sent you a friend request on Facebook is real? She's probably not. I'm sure hot girls love you and can't wait to get with you, but they know you'll come to them, they don't have to come to you. We've got some tips you can keep in mind.

 

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Complications and Questions Arise From Gay Divorce [AUDIO]

Of course gay people are going to get divorced as well as married. All they ever wanted was to be treated like everybody else. Well everybody else has a high divorce rate, so why not gays?  Heathen has some questions about the process though.

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