Fireworks go on sale today in Lubbock. Don't forget that's Lubbock County, fireworks are still illegal in city limits. Let's also not forget that all fireworks involve fire and the possibility of some type of explosion.


Now the worst thing you can do is light fireworks that you have in your hand or hurt any type of animal, but there are other bad ideas in both terms of danger and in being a douche.  So, let's make a list of bad things to do with fireworks.

*Give a kid a pack of firecrackers and let him light them off one and at time all day long. It drives dogs nuts and eventually the kid will get bored and start blowing up other stuff.

*Roman candle fights. You do know those are white hot flaming balls of sulfur don't you?  Your eyeballs don't like white hot flaming balls of sulfur.

*Bending sparklers into a "U" and throwing them into places where they can get caught.  I watched a tree burn down one day because of this miscreant behavior.

*Making your own

*Putting water in a tuna can, then putting a firecracker in the top of another can and launching it into space.  This used to be a favorite but those cans hurt when they come down.

*Nailing pinwheels to trees or other flammable objects.  I think this is why you don't see pinwheels much anymore.

*Bending a "Whistlin' Pete" so that it explodes.  This was always a favorite.  If you bend it just right instead of continuing to whistle, is explodes. The downside is, it chases around willy-nilly, THEN IT EXPLODES.

*Sparkler bombs.  I'm not even giving instructions here. If you do this you are creating a potentially lethal explosive, if not a stick of white hot fire that will melt steel.

*ANYTHING you see in the RockShow throwback videos below.  Putting fire, sparks or explosions near your crotch is never good.