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Three Horror Movies Do’s, One Don’t, And One Maybe For 2013 [VIDEO]

I am horribly behind on my horror movies (still haven’t got to Carrie or All The Guys Love Mandy Lane yet and I’m still trying to figure out “John Dies At The End”). So I’m just going to lay out three I loved and one I hated for you. Maybe you’ll find something you’ll enjoy or avoid on the list.

Sorry, but two sequels made my “must see” list.  January brought us Texas Chainsaw 3D.  Sorry, I loved it. I thought it was an excellent addition to the series.  If you didn’t know, this one picks up moments after the original movie through some clever makeup and effects. You literally don’t notice the moment it goes from the classic to this next chapter.  Yeah, there’s some stuff that doesn’t make sense, who cares?  The girls are smokin’ hot, the kills are awesome and it’s pretty satisfying overall.

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Next on the list is the reimagining of “The Evil Dead”.  I don’t ever think of it as a “reimagining” myself, I think “what if a different group of people visited that house in the woods”.  It’s uber-gory and even has a little three second post credits scene that had me clapping and pumping my fist.

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Lastly, is “You’re Next”. It certainly joins my list of all time favorites (probably Top 5) . It’s fun, original and has plenty of twists.  The people who cut the trailers for this film did a great job, because they get you geeked up for a horror movie, but you don’t told the whole story like a lot of trailers do. (and for the record, the song in the trailer is not the song used in the movie..the song in the movie is even creepier)

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The one not to watch?  Well it will be no surprise to anyone who listens to the RockShow that Rob Zombie’s “Lords Of Salem” has to go down as one of the worst uses of film ever.  Even the nudity with Sherry Moon Zombie is awful.  The whole movie wouldn’t be good enough chopped down to 15 minutes and put together as part of horror trilogy or something. The concept is simple, a record is played backwards and bad things happen. Now, you could think of a million bad things that could happen in a world where demon’s and witches exist, but in this universe, (to paraphrase Rob himself) Everything Is Boring in this universe.

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The “maybe” movie is “This Is The End”.  Oh, it’s one of my favorite movies ever.  It’s just hard for me to put a movie that is that funny in the “horror” category.  This is actually horror-comedy at it’s best and it stands right along side Army Of Darkness. Bubba Ho-Tep  and Tucker And Dale -VS- Evil in the category.  In fact the jokes are so sidesplitting funny that you forget to be scared.  It’s more a comedy with some horror as opposed to the reverse.  Anyways, this would be a great one to knock out before the clock strikes twelve as well.

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