I’m in a Toxic Relationship With the West Texas Wind

The West Texas wind isn't just annoying. Let's face it: It's obsessed with you, and it doesn't give a rat's ass about boundaries, hairdos, or privacy. It's in love, and restraining orders won't do any good.

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It never knocks before barging in, unannounced. It just swoops through your life, hellbent on opening every door while simultaneously ruining your day like an overzealous ex who doesn't realize how creepy it is to remind you he still knows the code to your garage.

Stalker, Much?

The wind is unpredictable and clingy. It needs constant attention. If you're trying to wear a cute outfit, it either gets incredibly jealous and flat-out ruins it for you, or blows your skirt up like Marilyn Monroe, showing your goodies off to a crowd at the worst possible moment.

Full-Blown Obsession

Having a nice phone call outside? The wind doesn't think so. It immediately begins howling in the background like it's auditioning for a horror movie, muffling any conversation taking place behind its back.

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The Breeze Knows Where You Live

Honestly, the West Texas wind is giving "toxic situationship," but who among us hasn't been stuck in one of those for far too long? The worst part is that you can't just ghost it. It finds you at the gas station, your own backyard, and, well, everywhere.

It's Jealous

It's jealous of your peace, your calm, and the skills you've acquired over the years of living in West Texas that have given you the ability to stay upright and brace for its inevitable impact.

It's Not You, It's The Wind (But Also You)

Deep down, maybe the wind is just misunderstood. Maybe it just wants to be noticed a little. Maybe it's sick and tired of being blamed for overturned trampolines and bad hair days. Maybe the West Texas wind just wants love, and the only way it knows to get your attention is by blowing sand into your eyes through the vents in your car.

Perhaps, that's just the wind's special way of saying, "Hey. Miss you."

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