I was chatting with a pal who works at the South Plains Mall. I only brave that place once or twice a year for Christmas gifts, otherwise, I steer clear. The subject of the brand-new Dillard's store came up, and he revealed that its brand-new elevator was broken rather quickly. He said it was hilarious.

Here's how the conversation went:

Me: I can't think of anything to write about today.

Him: The real story is how the escalator in the new Dillard's is already broken.

Me: Oh. Wtf

Him: Lol. Brand-new, open a week, and the escalator broke. Wildly inconvenient and hilarious.

Me: How???

Him: I don't know. It doesn't move.

Me: Hahahaha!

Him: Just stairs. I wanted to check out the 2nd floor but unless they are giving away free b***jobs. I'm not walking up those stairs just for pants.

Me: Dude. When did this happen?

Him: I've heard that it's never worked or it broke the first weekend. But, the fact that they just opened, you would think it would be good to go.

Me: Is everyone annoyed?

Him: Dudes carrying all their girlfriend's stuff and having to claim the stairs are looking super pissed.

Me: Is it fixed now?

Him: No idea. It wasn't yesterday. I went with my boss and she was laughing. However, the store is gorgeous. Beautiful flooring, well lit, absolutely an upgrade. Hopefully, it will be fixed before the holidays...

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience." -Mitch Hedberg

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