For the low, low price of $5,000, you could be the owner of a couple of poorly kept, mystery-stained, raggedy newspapers from March 13th, 1970, the terrible day Lubbock was hit by a big-ass, deadly tornado.

I came across someone trying their best to sell these on a local garage sale Facebook group. It isn't that the tornado wasn't important, it's that this newspaper looks like it's been living in a rabbit cage for 50 years.

I can smell the photo.

Facebook

For a measly five grand, this seller is offering you a piece of history. What a steal! It's also worth noting that they are not messing around and they don't give a rat's ass what you think about the paper's actual worth. They KNOW they have something special, and they don't want to hear about it from you.

From the Facebook post:

"....serious inquiries only...hit me up if you wanna come see the whole paper keep all negative comments away I already asked about price just trying let a Lubbock resident who wants first...An all y'all broke people who knows nothing about history will laugh...get a life an don't sit on Facebook an bash people post."

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(You have no idea how hard it was for me not to correct all of the spelling errors. The red squiggly lines drove me completely insane.)

Honestly, guys...why hasn't anybody thrown their money at this? The seller seems so knowledgeable and so very kind. I wonder why on earth anyone would ever take the time out of their busy day to make fun of them.

I dunno, man. Sometimes you set your own traps and then walk right into them.

Lubbock's 1970 Tornado Memorial

Lubbock's 1970 Tornado Memorial

Remnants of the 1970 Lubbock Tornado

Remnants of the 1970 Lubbock Tornado

Tornado and Wall Cloud Pictures From Monday, May 17th, 2021

Tornado and Wall Cloud Pictures From Monday, May 17th, 2021