Oh, Austin. You haven of hipsters and artists, you. It's time to say it: you are simply the worst.

Why such a harsh statement about the seat of Texas government? It's simple, really, Austin is NOT Texas. Austin is nothing more than Far Eastern San Francisco. Or L.A.

Either way, the rich traditions that made Austin weird and unique and being threatened by newcomers who want to turn our little hipster paradise into a haven for the elite, nouveau-riche, California cockroaches who are trying to escape that West Coast mess, by bringing the same snotty attitudes with them.

Case in point, this story from Texas Monthly, titled: They Just Moved Into an Austin Neighborhood. Now They Want to End One of Its Traditions.

For many years, Hispanic and Black communities have gathered at East Austin's Fiesta Gardens, or "Chicano Park," to enjoy family gatherings, barbecues, and impromptu side shows with their high-powered and tricked-out rides. It's a long tradition that's given the area some of its unique flair. Now, residents of a new, upscale apartment building are going full Karen and complaining about the noise and crowds.

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According to the story, residents of "The Weaver" are taking issue with the crowds, pulsing music and screeching of tires that has been a part of this area long before the apartment complex was constructed. Residents have gone so far to say that the smoke from the tires was "killing the trees," and stated that the gatherings were nothing more than "displays of toxic masculinity." Sounds very Californian to me.


Many noise complaints have ben filed, and in at least one instance, a resident flagged down police in an attempt to shut the gatherings down. In that case, police left without doing anything, which infuriated the tenants.

Let's just call it what it is: Carpetbagger Privilege. These are people who are choosing to like in a colorful and culturally vibrant area suddenly realizing that it's a colorful and culturally vibrant area that must be shut down. The park was there long before the interlopers, who should have done their homework before moving in.

These parks, and the people who enjoy them, and a major part of what makes Austin unique, and Texas special. The newcomers have no right to say anything about what was here before them and can find any one of a hundred more snobbish and elitist areas in Austin to destroy with impunity.

As it stands, there are so few areas in Austin that poseurs, tech CEOs and Instagram models haven't turned into a side street in Berkeley. We like to drink, eat barbecue, and play loud music here in Texas; deal with it. If the city of Austin allows this gentrification to continue, then they do not deserve to be considered Texan.

Don't California our Texas.

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