5 Reasons Texas Men Fail At Being Good Lovers

Editor’s note- The author has lived in Texas for over 25 years calling El Paso, Houston, and San Antonio home.

I have spent many a moment on a bar stool listening to the cries, excuses, accusations, and assorted reasons for a tear in the beer, from many a broken-hearted Texas man who lost at love.  In that time I have come to realize there are 5 reoccurring reasons guys end up without their lady love.  For the betterment of the brotherhood, I shall share.

Reason #1

You go on and on about your comic collection, failing to realize all your favorite titles have female characters with very exaggerated physical attributes. This isn’t an indictment for a love of comic books, but if your posters and figurines have more plastic in their breasts than an overly augmented porn star, you may be setting some unrealistic expectations.

Reason #2

You spend too much time hanging out at the border fence to help the migrant situation. This hobby is often accompanied by watching excessive amounts of far-right news programs.

Reason #3

You suffer excessively when your team loses. A frequent January problem if you’re a Dallas Cowboys fan, and a constant incurable condition if you’re a UTEP Miners supporter.

Reason #4

You’ve turned your love for hunting feral hogs, fishing at the Coast, or Golf during the extensive number of Golfer-friendly weather days into an obsession. Many a relationship has faded due to the time-suck that such recreational hobbies require.

Reason #5

You love to get together with the old college gang and are always up for the drive to participate in some gathering or to tailgate. The problem here is this is a big state. If you’re in El Paso and you went to the University of Texas or A&M, that’s a haul across I10. Look at any major Texas City. Look at every major Texas College. The possibilities for an alumni to institution road trip is a massive spider web of reasons you’re away instead of at home.

Heres how to get better

We have now come to the point of this where I -- a married man of 30+ years -- share one little tip for relationship longevity for the betterment of my brethren. Pay attention to her! Quality time together instead of quality time apart. If that doesn’t work maybe the inevitable conclusion is…she’s just not that into you.