Stuff Lubbock Folks Say Instead of Admitting We’re Cold

I know for a fact that Lubbock folks refuse to admit they are cold out loud, even when it's freezing balls out. I moved up to Minnesota when I was 18, and it took me literal YEARS before I bought a winter coat. My friend asked me all the time if I was cold, and I'd say some stupid snarky thing like, "Texans don't get cold," and then shiver to death when nobody was looking.

We could be standing outside in 20-degree windchill, dust slapping us sideways, wearing three hoodies like a sad burrito, and still, we will NOT say the words: “I’m cold.”

We like to give the world an entire vocabulary of delusion, denial , and utter lies, wrapped up in a Texas flag, rather than admit defeat.

I think it has something to do with grit, but who really knows?

Here are some real things Lubbock folks say when people ask us if we're cold, because admitting it goes against our personality contract:

"It's just a little chilly."

Translation: I can't feel my face, and I have lost circulation in my legs.

"It ain't that bad in the sun."

Translation: I am clingy to a tiny square foot of warm pavement like a lizard on a heat rock. Just leave me be.

"This wind makes it feel colder than it actually is."

Translation: Let me die in peace, I'm not putting on that stupid coat.

"My hands are just a little cool."

Translation: My hands are purple. Mind your business.

"It's not cold. I'm just not quite used to it yet."

Translation: It'll warm up if we just pray harder. Maybe do a sacrifice like the olden days? Just an idea.

"If I put on a sweater, I'll just be hot later."

Translation: I don't own a sweater.

"I'd rather this than the heat."

Translation: This one actually isn't a lie. We don't enjoy the heat, contrary to popular belief.

Just admit you're cold, Lubbock. We don't judge. You won't, because, well, it IS showing a sign of weakness. We aren't weak, and that's why we suffer, and probably will until the end of time.

We got this, y'all...I think.

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