Why Lubbock Gas Station Clerks Deserve Their Own Reality Show

Convenience store clerks in Lubbock are built differently. They’re part therapist, part bouncer, part comedian, part human lie detector, and part guardian angel who decides whether or not you deserve access to the “Employees Only” bathroom.

Over the years, I’ve realized that the clerks around this city know more about me than some of my exes. And, if I'm honest, I trust them more.

Here’s a peek inside the secret lives of Lubbock’s convenience store workers… and what it’s like to be one of their regulars.

1. The “I Got You” Clerk

Every Lubbock local has one. Mine works at the gas station near my house and routinely covers my change — even when I’m short, like, a whole dollar. And he doesn’t even blink.

He always remembers me, too, mostly because we share the same birthday, and because he’s checked my ID for smokes and booze approximately 400 times.

These clerks are the real MVPs. They choose kindness every day, even when the customer in front of you is trying to pay with 37 pennies and a Chuck E. Cheese token. (Not even joking about the token.)

2. The “We’re Basically Family Now” Clerk

When I lived across town, I had a gas station buddy who became such a pal that I actually brought him a slice of cheesecake on his birthday. Seriously, y'all, that’s what you do when the clerk has saved you from emotional distress at least six times.

He’s seen me after breakups, meltdowns, errands, emergencies, and questionable hair days. And he never judged me once. (At least out loud while I was present.)

Convenience store bonds are sacred like that.

3. The Stripes on Ave Q: Not for the Weak

There are convenience stores… and then there is the Stripes on Ave Q — the unofficial MMA octagon of Lubbock.

I have witnessed:

• Fights. Multiple fights. The kind where someone takes off their shirt for no reason other than dramatic flair.

• People yelling “HOLD MY BURRITOS” before charging at someone.

• A man was stealing an entire case of Twisted Tea, like it was part of a grocery pickup order.

• Someone sprinting out the door with a 12-pack tucked under one arm like a football, while the clerk just sighed like, “Not again.”

That place has more action than a Fast & Furious sequel. The clerks there deserve hazard pay, a therapist, and possibly a documentary crew.

Read More: Lubbock’s Surprising Ranking In America’s Most Sinful Cities

4. They’ve Witnessed the Full Spectrum of Our Chaos

Gas station clerks have seen me:

• On my best days

• On my “Is this rock bottom or am I just tired?” days

• On video calls, which were probably louder (and more vulgar) than I realized at the time

• Buying booze while probably already a little drunk (not probably...definitely)

• During emergencies where they mercifully unlocked the bathroom without a single question asked (this is the greatest honor bestowed upon us by clerks and not to be taken lightly)

If anyone writes my biography, convenience store employees will have their own chapter. Seriously. We go hard in the paint.

5. They Know Our Patterns Better Than We Want Them To

Clerks can clock a Lubbock regular from a mile away:

• The pre-work energy drink warrior

• The after-work “please don’t judge me” booze buyer

• The gas-station-dinner chooser

• The impulse snack gremlin

They see the cycles. They know the moods. Honestly, they should be licensed to give advice.

6. If Lubbock Clerks Wrote a Tell-All Book…

It would include:

• Lottery athletes

• Gas-price conspiracy theorists

• Bathroom emergencies

• Midnight oversharers

• People who attempt to buy taquitos that have been under the heat lamp since the Bush administration

I would buy this book immediately.

Shout-Out To Lubbock's Gas Station Heroes

Lubbock convenience store clerks don’t just sell gas and gum. They keep this city running — one shift, one bathroom key, and one emergency kindness moment at a time.

Here’s to the clerks who know our birthdays, remember our faces, silently witness our chaos, and STILL smile at us anyway. We love you. Thanks for having our backs.

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