The 5 Stages of Running Into Your Ex in Lubbock

There are a lot of things you can't avoid in Lubbock. Wind. Dust. Endless construction. Unfortunately, nothing is more inevitable in the Hub City than running into your ex at the worst possible moment.

It doesn't matter how big you think the city is. It's not. Somehow, your ex seems to pop up out of nowhere, at the WORST possible moment, usually when you look like a homeless person.

Here are the 5 stages we all go through when we spot an old lover in public:

1. Immediate Recognition (Panic Begins To Set In)

You see them, and you know it's them. No question. Your brain tries to convince you otherwise, but you already feel your soul exiting your body. Eye contact is coming. NO!

2. The Internal Spiral

In the few seconds before interaction, your brain goes into total overdrive:

Do I look okay? Why did I friggin' wear this? Do I pretend I don't see them? HOW DO I ACT NORMAL NOW?

You can't. Nothing about this will be normal. Not by a long shot.

3. Fake Casual Mode

"Heyyy! Oh my goodness! How have you been?"

You say it like you don't know exactly how they've been. You've stalked their Facebook 9 thousand times. You even know what they ate for dinner last night. Suddenly, you're smiling and nodding at everything they say. Truth is, you can't hear anything coming out of their mouth at all over the absolute ruckus going on between your ears.

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4. The Awkward Exit Attempt

Both of you know this conversation has no purpose, but neither of you has the balls to end it.

5. Post-Encounter Analysis (The Long Drive Home)

The moment it's all over, the overthinking begins. Lucky you! You'll be up all night wondering why you said what you said and whether or not they are thinking about the run-in, too. You'll be bothered by this for the next 48 hours minimum.

In Lubbock, it's like you're never really quite finished with your ex...you're just between random awkward public encounters.

Next time, maybe put on real pants before you leave the house...just in case.