Ted Nugent Loves Wang

For three years, Ted Nugent was one of the biggest stars in the world. Then, as the announcer says, it all came crashing down.

Let's back up here so you don't think I'm just pulling this out of my rear. I used to idolize Ted Nugent. I also used to smoke A LOT of weed. My second concert ever was a co-headlining bill with Lynyrd Skynyrd and Ted Nugent at Anaheim Stadium, with support from REO Speedwagon, Foreigner and T-Rex.

I caught some of Dee Snider's House of Hair this past Saturday on 94.5 FMX. Dee is an incredible entertainer and there are some jams on that show. On came the song "Wango Tango," which was Ted's last big hit in 1980, which was the last blast after his 1979 album failed to match anything he did in 1976 to 1978. (Hey, it's okay -- I never even had one hit, and being on top of the world for three years is pretty good.)

What intrigued me is that the song "Wango Tango" was Ted's second wang-influenced song. "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" was the song right after the title track on the Cat Scratch Fever album, so it was very popular.

All of this got me to thinking about this fictional conversation between Nugent and his agent in '79-80:

Agent: Ted, the State Of Shock album just stiffed.

Ted: Oh, that sucks. There must be some kind of error.

Agent: Well, we think we have a plan to get you back on track.

Ted: Shoot.

Agent: We don't think you properly mined all the wang-related content that you're capable of.

Ted: So you're saying you want me to whip out one more wang?

Agent: It could be our best hope.

Ted: It's done. What rhymes with 'wang' other than 'poontang'?  I used that last time.

Agent: Uh, bang, rang, tang...but that's kind of the same as poontang.

Ted: Oh.

Agent: Oh, what?

Ted: Tang-o! If I add an "O," it's kind of the same thing, but it's not.

Agent: Brilliant. I'll book the studio time.

And so the album Scream Dream became the last Ted Nugent studio album to crack the top 50, actually heading to no. 13, with the single "Wango Tango" charting as high as no. 86.

So I think we can say that Ted must be very fond of wang, because the wang has been so good to him.