At our house, Thanksgiving Day means "all hands on deck" when it comes to hiding crud we don't want the extended family to see or know about. It's a race against the clock that happens the moment someone says, “We’re about 10 minutes out.”

The entire house suddenly becomes a NASCAR pit crew of panic, shoving, hiding, and praying no one opens the wrong door.

Every family does it. My family. Your family. And, if they say they don't, they're lying.

Here are some of the things every Lubbock family hides before Thanksgiving company rolls up with their Tupperware and unhinged opinions:

1. The Treadmill of Shame

It was supposed to help your mom drop a few pounds, but instead has turned into a great place to hang laundry. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if it hadn't been gifted to her by your great aunt. She'll be coming over to eat, and she's expecting results. Cram it into the hall closet, and then help mom find her gurdle. 

2. The Tower of Unopened Amazon Boxes

Someone has a shopping problem, and that someone happens to be your teenage sister, who is still grounded for the damage she did to Dad's credit card. Help her hide the evidence before anyone spills the beans to Grandpa. She now owes you one.

READ MORE: Lubbock Moms: Masters of Saying “I’m Not Mad” While Absolutely Being Mad

3. The Crunchy Blanket

Nobody knows what's on it or the last time it was washed. Everyone in the house knows not to touch it, but that won't stop your uncle from grabbing hold of it for a post-Cowboys-game nap. It happened last year, and you're still feeling bad for not stopping him. Don't make the same mistake this year. Toss it in the laundry, or better yet, in the trash.

4. The Pet Hair Situation

We all have that one cousin who is allergic to the air. Sweep up 7 golden retrievers' worth of hair, and if you're looking for brownie points from mom, clean out the filter on the Roomba for the upcoming Pokeno party with her gal pals.

5. Rogue Cups and Bowls Hiding in Bedrooms

You'd think that the extended family whose middle names you don't even know wouldn't wander through your bedrooms unannounced, but they will. Your brother has a bowl of mac and cheese in there from 4 weeks ago that has become sentient. Wear gloves. Carry a taser.

It Doesn't Really Matter Though, Does It?

The best part is that the moment everyone leaves, all the work you've done magically disappears. Gone. It's like it never happened. You go back to living like a sewer monster, and they go back to judging you from the privacy of their own homes. Everyone wins.

Happy Turkey Day.

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