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Every football player has to dream of playing in the Superbowl. It's the culmination of all the training and work you did for the rest of the year. Now, wouldn't it suck if you found out THE NIGHT BEFORE THE Superbowl that you aren't invited?  Wait until you hear this story, after the jump.

Drunk Driving is bad.  We've established that fact, 100%.  Drunk driving a Zamboni is bad...and hilarious.  Watching a drunk driving Zamboni incident is hilarious and gutbusting.  More after the jump.

Two new Cage 9's tracks and they've never been heard before! That's right, you my friends are getting the world premieres right here.

We now start each days weird stories with "The Too Naughty News" at about 5:50.  You see, before 6:00 a.m. we can do pretty much anything we want to (within reason).  So, we reserved the really gross or really sexual or really demented stuff for that time.  With that said, proceed with caution to the next page for the "Too Naughty News".

Yet another male fantasy bubble is about to burst.  Have you every thought about all those women naked in the locker room at the gym.  The truth really isn't so great.  Details after the jump.

When you've been married as long as I have, you learn a lot of things to not say to your wife. When you live with another person for a while, you can figure out what sets them off pretty quickly. The man in today's story asked his wife for a little "favor" that should top any list.

Hey playa, there's a reason it hurts or feels uncomfortable when you gotta pee.  That reason is your body telling you it's going to get messed up if you don't release the water.  You could EXPLODE!  Okay, maybe not explode, but it's not healthy to let it linger.  Details after the jump.

Stats are almost the new currency out there.  Marketers want to know who is most likely to use their products and services, that's how you get surveys like this one.  Let's say "Trojan Condoms" wanted to know who was most likely to use their product, the results of this survey would help them market more effectively.  More details after the jump.

People get their textbooks everywhere these days.  Among some of the options are used and full on rentals.  You would think even the sellers wouldn't have to go page to page checking the books out, but apparently they do.  One student had a book show up with a special bookmark.  Details after the jump.

I think I heard on a commercial or something that nature has what you call a "balance". I think it had to do with constipation or something, so I guess that's a poor way to start this story out.  The real problem here is people keeping snakes as pets and letting them go when they get too big to handle.  Details after the jump.

What does your dentist used when he gives you a root canal?  Sure you think you know, but do you really know?  He could have put anything in there.  It might even be a radio transmitter so the government could control you.  Then again, your dentist might be like the one in this story, and just use anything lying around.  More details after the jump.

It's another edition of "F@#$ed up History". Are you ready to learn a little something? We promise it won't be too painful. We'll even kiss you afterwards. What, what's that on my lip? Oh, it's just a dry spot.  Yeah, just a dry spot, I promise. More after the jump.