The Texas Tech Red Raiders will be squaring off against the Texas Longhorns this Saturday, September 24th, at 2:30 p.m. Everyone in town is getting totally amped for it and stocking up on tailgating supplies and booze. UT kicked our butts pretty bad last year, so the Red Raiders are going to have to bring some serious thunder this weekend.

If you're coming to the game from Austin, welcome to Lubbock! We're excited to have you here. We thought it might be helpful to suggest some cozy places in town for you to book for your trip. They are also very cost-efficient, which is great because gas is pricey these days.

We really want you to feel at home while you're visiting, so we've compiled a list of spots that we think you'll feel most comfortable in. You're welcome.

1. The Overflowing Trashcan by Walmart off of Loop 289

Not only will you have bathroom access with the adjacent supermarket, nobody will be able to tell the difference between you and the garbage. Perfect.

2. Anywhere on Avenue Q

This is by far the COOLEST street in town. We know you guys are used to walking up and down 6th Street late at night. This will be a similar experience. We promise.

3. Bart Reagor's Haunted Auto Mall Parking Lot

We're pretty sure that most of the supervillains in town celebrate Bart's legacy by using this parking lot to wheel and deal all hours of the night. You will fit right in.

4. The Abandoned Long John Silver's

We aren't sure what happens in there, but maybe you could find out and let us know. You'd really be doing us all a favor, and what are friends for?

5. The Dumpster Behind The Cheesecake Factory

I'd be a bit cautious, but this is a nice spot. Every once in a while, a dishwasher comes out and pushes the button that compacts all of the trash with a big smashing thingy, but you didn't need those ugly burnt orange clothes, anyway.

Before you guys get your panties in a wad, relax! I didn't mean any harm. We're honestly stoked to have y'all here and we hope that you have a wonderful time in Lubbock. I actually went to school in Austin and I've got nothing but love for you guys. We may not be as fancy here in Lubbock, but we've totally got better Mexican food. I'll take that one to the grave! We hope you'll treat yourself to some local grub while you're in town.

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