Lubbock Aggravated Assault Suspect Gets Roasted to Hell & Back

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I'm going to be really honest: The last few days have been devoid of laughter for me. It's been difficult to find any joy in anything. But the very first laugh I had back was at this poor dude's expense.

While I normally consider body shaming a huge no-no, the comments on LPD's page of Aggravated Assault Suspect Tanner James Stone had me wheeze laughing.

Some of my personal favorites:

Tom Antonio Rodriguez

"That's what happens when you keep all your thoughts to yourself."

Victor Jose Magri

"Hoes say, 'Y’all want some head?'

He says, 'No thanks I got plenty.'"

Robert Brown

"Pssssh he ain't gonna be there long. Goku ain't gonna let his boy Krillin just sit in jail chillin."

Kari Isaacson

"His mother must be torn up over this."

Montanez Rito

"Yo call the MiB we got another one breaking intergalactic laws."

Carlos Granados

"Head so big his dreams are in iMax."

Thanks for the chuckles, y'all. And here's hoping poor Tanner has some time to grow his hair out. And, you know, that he doesn't use his scanner abilities to blow us to bits.