Typical Lubbockites, who no doubt love to complain about the price of gas, fought in the streets over a couple of cents worth of candy.

I wanted to get the part about the Lubbock dumbassery out of the way. Yes, it appears there were at least two instances of people fighting in the streets over candy. There was the one brawl that everyone has already seen on film, and a second incident in which a woman allegedly tried to back her car up into somebody.

Don't get me wrong, it was great to see people of all colors get together and brawl for America, but I have to ask: "Lubbock, whatchu doin' girl?" These videos will be shared across America, making us look like a star-spangled bunch of idiots.

Enough about Lubbock, though. Who's idea was it in the first place to toss candy in the streets where kids will always run out to grab it?

I'm sure the intention is to throw to the people on the curb, but until we draft some major league ball players to make the throws, some of the candy lands in the street and everyone runs out to get it. Here's the second part, there are cars in the street. There are also trucks and trailers and floats, oh my! Why on God's green earth would you or your kids run toward that?

Bringing things full circle, apparently in Lubbock you have to worry less about being run over and more about the other people who want that candy. It's just too much, gang. You really can't expect high temperatures, cranky people and insufficient security to add up to something nice. Keep the streamers for the 4th of July and save the candy for the best holiday of them all, Halloween.

Tell Us You're From Lubbock Without Telling Us You're From Lubbock...

She's a 10 in Lubbock, But...