Former Texas Tech Coach Tommy Tuberville Feels Threatened by Drag Queens
Tommy Tuberville just took to Facebook to air his grievances about drag queens.
Well dressed, totally covered up, normal drag queens causing no one any harm whatsoever. Tuberville writes: "Hard to believe that right in my own backyard the city of Opelika allows drag queens in the city Christmas Parade which was held this weekend. What is next?"
So I'm writing him a letter.
Dearest Former Texas Tech Coach & Current Candidate for the Alabama Senate, Tommy Tuberville:
I get it. Your masculinity is a small, fragile thing -- like delicate shells from the egg of a teeny, tiny, newborn baby bird.
You've attempted to protect your microscopic, precious, adorable sense of your own manhood by limiting what you might possibly be exposed to, but now you know that can't be enough. You must also make those decisions for other people, as their masculinity might also be under constant attack by other people...existing.
You could have been gracious. You could have taken a live-and-let-live attitude that most normal people do. You could have even been filled with the spirit of Christmas -- that it's for everyone. But your heart's shrunk two sizes today to match your itsy-bitsy, diminutive, requires-tweezers-to-pick-up confidence in your ability to be a man around other men who are confident and comfortable in a knee-length dress.
I hope you can grow the hell up one day and quit pandering to the worst in other people for votes. It's gross. Maybe focus on real issues? Maybe? Last time I checked, Alabama was dead-last in education, 45th in the economy, and 45th in crime. But the REAL problem is four men in dresses in a Christmas parade, right?
These opinions are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of anyone else at Townsquare Media. Don't @ me, either.