The Quirky Struggles Of Living With Lubbock's Strong Winds

Everyone in Lubbock has a complicated relationship with the wind. One moment, it's cooling us off, and the next, it's blowing all of your Taco Villa napkins out of the window before you've even opened the first little hot sauce cup (and you know there's no way to do that neatly.)

West Texas Wind Theft

If you've lived here long enough, you've probably had something precious ripped from your hands, yard, or life by a gust of wind strong enough to qualify as assault with a deadly weapon.

Here's a highly scientific ranking of things the wind has rudely jacked from us over the years:

10. Lawn Chairs - Your backyard isn't complete until it includes one of your neighbor's lawn chairs that blew over the fence. No need to take it back. It belongs to you now. Just make sure you patch it with some duct tape before Aunt Edna comes to visit.

9. Hats - This is such a common occurrence, I've seen more than one friend just wave goodbye to it and keep moving. We don't even chase them down at this point.

8. Homework - It sounds like an excuse (maybe sometimes it is), but Lubbock wind collects homework like your grown 40-year-old son.

7. Receipts - I mean, you weren't going to take that stuff back if it didn't fit anyway, were you? Just put it in the back of the closet where your "skinny" clothes live and try it on another day...

6. Cups from Sonic - Even the big Route 44s are a zero match for the wind. What's worse is when you leave your prized maraschino cherries at the bottom for last. RIP.

5. Patio Umbrellas - You can always tell who is new to town by whether or not they have a patio table umbrella. These don't just blow away — they launch, and they've gotta land somewhere. Fingers crossed it's somewhere far away from the elementary school playground...

4. Your Dignity - Do not, I REPEAT, do not go commando in a dress in Lubbock, Texas. It doesn't matter how long the dress is. The wind doesn't care. You're going to show everyone your no-nos the moment you step out your front door if the wind decides it. She's a cruel mistress, and you haven't shaved since that bad breakup. #alwayswearpanties

3. Trash - Nothing says "community" like you, your neighbor, and all of your children chasing after an old box of Pampers three blocks down the street.

2. Christmas Decor - Frosty is cute on the lawn, but rather dangerous on the loop.

1. A Full-Sized Trampoline - The true crown jewel of wind theft. You blink, and suddenly it's a few neighborhoods over with a new set of kids enjoying it. Bummer.

Keep scrolling for more silly Lubbock fun in the galleries below...