Lubbock Woman Shocked After Breaking New Year’s Resolution For 8th Year Straight

"How did I let it happen again? I really thought this was going to be my year." She was only 3 days into her New Year's journey toward peace and self-love when she went off the deep end and did everything she said she wouldn't do this year.

"Why does it have to be so hard to leave stray kitties alone? This should literally be the easiest resolution EVER, yet here I am, long divorced and surrounded by even more cats."

She casually brushed Mittens and Snowball from her lap and slowly walked to her crusty, 47-year-old, lonely-cat-lady kitchen, to fetch a crinkly bag of cat treats from the counter. Madness ensued.

Dozens of beloved rescue kitties came charging toward her from every angle, darting from cupboards and discarded Christmas boxes, purring and chirping as they rubbed their fluffy tails at her ankles. It was clear that she had given up on using a lint roller, and who could blame her? There's no stopping fuzz like that. It's as if the glorious display of stray hair was simply woven into the fabric of her $5 Walmart leggings...

...Perhaps, even, woven into her very being...

"I've got to admit, I've broken my New Year's Resolution for the past 8 years in a row, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. If only there were more people out there willing to bring strays in from the cold." She reached to the floor, picked up One-Eye Sally, and promptly planted a kiss on the tip of her little pink nose.

Her focus shifted toward the window and for a few moments, she gazed off into the distance and sighed a deep sigh. She didn't ask for this life. She always fancied herself becoming a Broadway starlet and climbing the ranks of fame. Flowers tossed to her feet. Champagne waiting in the limo.

"I'll have to keep fighting the good fight. It's all I know..."

Of course, this entire story is total BS.

I mean, it definitely could have happened. The point is...

You need to get out there a adopt a kitty from a Lubbock shelter ASAP and give the cat lady a rest. She can't do this all on her own. She needs a spa day and a night out on the town. Let's give her a hand and take some of those little snuggly muffins home with us instead.

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